We had a baby! Holy my Christmas, jumpin’ jahosaphats...WE HAD A BABY! See what had happened was...
Wednesday is total blank for me because really Thusday just rocked my world. As Aaron walked through the door after work Thursday his eyes were greeted with the nurse putting my oxygen on. Why? Because Kaz's heart took a little dipity do (as nurse Rhea would say) and it took him about 5 minutes to come all the way back up to some good accelerations. Of course he showed wonderful activity and everyone gave a big sigh of relief.
My OBGYN came in to take a look at the report and said that they would watch it through the night and see where we were at in the morning. About 30 minutes after she and Aaron left I reached for my phone, called Jenn R., asked her to put her phone on speaker and I said to Aaron and her, “So, what do you think about having a baby tomorrow?” Aaron was SUPER calm and said very confidently, “Ok, when?”
Why call Aaron and say such a thing? Well because my OBGYN called me and explained that she conferred with the genetic doc and they felt it would be best to go ahead and schedule me for a delivery. “Waa waa WHACHU TALKIN ABOUT?” Why do this? They didn’t want to put our son though any more stress or have our worst fears realized and have to rush to the OR, knock me out, and urgently do a c-section cause our little guy didn’t recover from a deceleration.
Originally we had it scheduled for 5pm. Then they said they were trying for 3pm and finally they called and said that 6am was booked for us to meet our special little guy. There I lied in bed thinking to myself, “Ok, I just gotta get through the next 8 hours.” The doc did say if he had another long decel they wouldn’t wait to our scheduled time. Do you think I slept? NO! I had to watch the monitor! He didn’t have great accelerations late into the night, and then he decided to do a little quick dip just to keep the nurses on their toes. No need to panic! It was so quick that there was no reason to go in and get him.
It’s 4am and I’ve decided I’ve had enough sleep. Three hours is enough right? At 4:20 the door opens and there is my man – I guess he couldn’t sleep either. At 5am they have me walk to my gurney (which btw, my muscles forgot how to work. Huh, I wonder why?) They roll me into the recovery room and prep me for surgery. A while later they role me into the operating room and I swear it wasn’t me on the gurney. It’s as if I was watching a movie – the word surreal doesn’t do it justice.
The epidural was quick and painless (totally against my birth plan!). Shortly after Daddy-to-be and my sister were brought in. Hey wait a minute, where is the curtain that is supposed to shield onlookers from seein’ all my guts? Apparently Aaron said he wanted to see “the whole show”. So I watched Aaron and Aaron watched my guts being put on my chest (seriously is this really happening?).
After some tuggin and pullin there he was, born at 6:51 am, 3lbs 10oz, 17 inches long. I didn’t see him “being born” I was too fixated on Aaron and Alicia’s expression. Alicia jumped out of her seat in excitement and then we heard it, this cute little cry. OMG, that is our baby! A human being just came out of my body in 9 minutes. The following 30-40 minutes was spent puzzle piecing my innards back and stitching me up.
As I laid there I still can’t believe it. I can’t believe it’s me lying on the table. I can’t believe I have a son, that we have a son. I can’t believe I can’t hold him. I can’t believe I missed Aaron cutting the cord (when the neonatal team took him they took him along with the placenta and asked Aaron to come over to cut the cord). Although I didn’t see the miracle, seeing Aaron’s face and my sisters excitement was pretty damn priceless.
Within 8 hours of having some pretty major surgery (at least Aaron thinks so, hey he would know he had a front row seat) I took my very first walk from my bed to my chair to go see our son in the NICU. Wow, that was….interesting. “So Angela what’s goin’ on in there?” “When is he coming home?” “Is he alright?” Okay, lot’s of questions but please be patient because we don’t have lot’s of answers. It’s a day-by-day kinda thang, and the answers might not change for a long time. Here is what we know and this is good for you to know in case you want to come see him. After reading this you may change your mind and that IS ok. Trust us, WE KNOW!
- He did some how in the last few days of being inside my tummy squirm his way out of having the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck (he’s magic, he’s Kazmataz!)
- The Doc told us there was no amniotic fluid in there for our little guy to be cushioned with which means it’s better that he is out here getting the care he needs vs. being in my tummy where no one can help him.
- He is hooked up to a ventilation machine. This machine is fed down his mouth into his lungs. This has to be done because his lungs have not fully developed and he needs some help. This ventilation system also constricts his vocal cords, which means you may see him cry but you won’t hear anything.
- When we were in utero we all naturally produced a chemical called Surfactin that helped develop our lungs into the strong inhalers we have today. Since Kaz only made it to 31 weeks and 6 days he did not have the opportunity to do this on his own so the docs are giving him what he needs through the ventilation system to help him.
- We don’t know when they will take him off the ventilator. The neonatal team does not know. . It’s a day-by-day kinda thang. They continue to test his lung capacity and his ability to do it on his own and once he has proved him self – then we’ll talk. It’s not something we wanna rush. Breathing is kind of important.
- He is currently being fed through his belly button. No it’s not a 3 course meal it’s more a fancy liquid diet of vitamins and nutrients.
- His arm is strapped to an IV bar so they can instantly provide him with what he needs when he needs it.
- There are a gajillion machines, beeps, bells, and whistles goin’ off. I told him when we get home I promise him a beep free zone.
As of today – Sunday. - He has only had to get one dose of Surfactin so far because he seems to not need any more. This could change. It’s a day-by-day kinda thang.
- He has developed some fluid in his lungs and they are not sure what is causing it but they gave him some meds, tested him and he was able to breath much better but it’s still not time to remove the ventilator. It’s important they test MANY times before they make such an important decision.
- Our son is getting a tan today. He’s got some cloth shades on, kickin back, and gettin some UV rays…he’s got the jaundice. For those of you who don’t know, this is VERY common and full grown babies get it all the time.
- He weighs a little less today than he did on Friday. They gave him a diuretic to make sure his bladder was functioning correctly – it is but as a result he’s a little lighter on his toes.
- Ultimately what we know is we have a road to travel but there is no official map. We will get lost a little on the way but eventually we WILL get there.
How are you doin’ Angela?
I’m fine. I’m walkin’ around this hospital doin’ my own little Indy 500. I’ve discovered 2 very interesting things that no one told me about or I was too poor to pay attention to.
- When you have a baby and particularly a C-Section – there is all sorts of air that gets trapped inside you. If this air has no place to go it goes in the worst places you could imagine…..like my chest.
- I’ve experienced a surge and drop of hormones like you couldn’t believe. It gives me the chills, and then I get hot flashes. It could change every minute. It changed three times while I was writing this. Aaron thought I went into shock when I awoke from a nap with my teeth chattering.
- I got to take a shower after 20 days. Yea me!
How is Aaron doing?
I am happy the baby is in the safest place he could possibly be at the moment. I would like to thank our many friends and family for all the support you have given us during the pregnancy and birth. It is a trying ordeal, and your thoughts, deeds, and prayers have been invaluable in helping us along. A million thank you’s cannot express the deepest level of gratitude I feel.
After 21 days, we are going home. Well, two of us at least. We’ll be back every day till he comes home with us for the very first time. It’s really not that bad. We’ve been lucky to get a sneak preview of him for the next two months while he was supposed to be in my belly. But he’s safe, and getting stronger by the day and we look forward to the first time we can hold him.
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